Support blog for all victims/survivors of sexual assault, molestation, incest, domestic violence and abusive relationships.
Any asks or submissions sent to us regarding false accusations will not be posted or responded to. This is a safe haven for people who have been through trauma and we want to avoid causing undue stress - doubt is not welcome here.
Trigger warning can (and should) be assumed for all content, please don't hesitate to ask if there's something specific you'd like tagged.
That point of view is pretty common, unfortunately. There are some scholarly articles located here that address common rape myths and victim blaming.
Here is another article that mentions how dangerous some misconceptions about rape can be, specifically perpetuation of the belief that a rapist will be some stranger in a dark alley.
Here is another list of rape myths and the truth, with facts.
One in Four provides some numbers and statistics for sexual assault as well.
Another thing to keep in mind is that not only do these lists of “safe” behaviors often mislead their audience about how and when sexual assault may occur, there is an implicit sense that someone else who is less informed might be raped and it would then, presumably, be their own fault for not knowing the proper behaviors or following them to the letter. Worse still, it implies an attitude of “get her, not me” and incessant policing of women.
This is unacceptable. Enforcing laundry lists of rules and regulations for potential victims does nothing to address the rape culture that keeps not only allowing this kind of behavior but encouraging it, while simultaneously shaming survivors who speak out or seek justice.
Living this way is like living in a house where the rafters are draped with live wires. We might stoop to avoid them all we want, avoiding certain rooms or certain conditions, but until we fix the problem at the source, nothing will change and the danger will still remain.
If we insist on keeping our focus on what women can do to avoid rape, we imply that the power to prevent rape rests with them. In reality, the only way to stop rape is to stop the rapist.
Followers, especially male victims/survivors, any advice?
(con’t) about her assault. The point isn’t that her assault isn’t an issue or that her jokes are a way of coping; it’s that she doesn’t know who other survivors are/how her jokes are effecting them. She might feel like you are telling her that her assault isn’t as traumatic as it was; just make sure she knows that it’s not about her, it’s about others who experienced the same thing. If someone was constantly doing something to make her remember it, how would she feel? That’s how someone else is.
"Some men feel that too much responsibility for preventing sexual assault has been put on their shoulders"
We’re telling you not to rape people and you think the bar’s never been higher