Support blog for all victims/survivors of sexual assault, molestation, incest, domestic violence and abusive relationships.

Any asks or submissions sent to us regarding false accusations will not be posted or responded to. This is a safe haven for people who have been through trauma and we want to avoid causing undue stress - doubt is not welcome here.

Trigger warning can (and should) be assumed for all content, please don't hesitate to ask if there's something specific you'd like tagged.

 

Anonymous asked
Two years ago, I was raped once and mentally/emotionally abused and blackmailed by an older man. I haven't told anyone, not even my husband. I'm afraid he won't believe me or he will leave me. What should I do?

Has your husband done something specific to make you feel he’ll react that way, or is it your past experience causing you to worry?

Opening up to people you love and trust can be really helpful for some victims/survivors on their road to recovery. I always recommend that our followers try to build a support system, and it’s best to start with family and friends. It’s hard, but it can be such a relief.

If he has given you reason to suspect he’ll react poorly, on the other hand, I wouldn’t suggest telling him. If that’s the case, I’d also suggest looking at your relationship closely. You deserve someone who supports you and wants to help you get better.

-L

Anonymous asked
Hi. I'm a rape and csa survivour and idk maybe (???) on the ace spectrum. It's really hard for me to talk about this... I have this problem where sometimes I look at porn (sometimes I stumble upon it, sometimes search it out) and it just ends up triggering me. I don't even know what I want. Do I want to trigger myself? Punish myself? Or try to enjoy it but it just doesn't really work out that way... I NEVER have enjoyed sexuality, not even just porn or masturbation. I feel so broken and ashamed.

Hi. This is not uncommon. I want you to know that. Because I don’t have personal experience with this, though, I’m going to refer you to this wonderful post by selfcareafterrape.

Post here.

You have no reason to feel ashamed. You have done nothing wrong here.

- TT

tikken:

nihileigh:

When we live in a world where you can access free content of naked consenting women in less than 5 seconds, why are people still invading the privacy of non-consenting women for nudes?

Hint: It has something to do with people feeling entitled to making any woman their personal porn, even if it violates or humiliates her in the process.

’*ESPECIALLY if it violates or humiliates her in the process.’, imo.

"Don’t take a nude pic if you’re a famous woman and don’t want it leaked."

mysharona1987:

"Don’t wear a hoodie if you don’t want to be mistaken for a criminal and shot."

"Don’t get drunk at a party if you don’t want to be sexually assaulted."

"Don’t argue with a cop if you don’t want to get killed."

"Don’t walk home by yourself if you don’t want to get raped."

Victim blaming 101: Everyone should live in fear from ever doing anything.

Jennifer Lawrence Nude Photo Leak Isn't A 'Scandal.' It's A Sex Crime.

(Source: gildaradner)

thistangledtongue:

fandomsandfeminism:

dirtydarwin:

brute-reason:

Still Not a Joke — Good Awareness Campaign From Just Detention International

What if your kid went to jail for trying pot, something that is very probable if your kid is black and living in a state like Texas. Does that mean they deserve to be raped? Does that mean that they should live in conditions that go against all human rights?

Most prison rapes are committed by prison staff. Even if you are heartless and do not care about the prisoners, remember that these prison staff rapists go home to their nice houses in the outside world. Remember that they are your neighbors, maybe they even have babysat your children. Remember that as long as some victims are dehumanized and ignored, many perpetrators will never be caught. And yes, these perpetrators do pose a threat to you and your family. Prison rape, rape in generalis everybody’s problem. And definitely not a fucking joke. 

The idea that prisoners “deserve” to be raped is part of rape culture.
Rape is not a punishment. It can not be earned. It is a crime every single time, no matter what, no matter who the victim is.

No one deserves to be sexually assaulted in any way. NO ONE.

(Source: brutereason)

The Police Violence We Aren’t Talking About

rapeculturerealities:

It’s hard to tell exactly how big the problem is, because few people are collecting data. Researchers have to rely on arrest reports and press accounts, which leave out unreported or unprosecuted cases. But even that limited evidence suggests sexual assault is a significant issue in police forces. According to the Cato Institute, more than 9 percent of reports of police misconduct in 2010 involved sexual abuse, making it the second-most reported form of misconduct, after the use of excessive force. Comparing that data to FBI crime statistics indicates that “sexual assault rates are significantly higher for police when compared to the general population.”

#ToolsToDetectRapists Hashtag Mocks Sexual Assault Prevention Nail Polish By Dissecting Rape Culture

rapeculturerealities:

Ultimately UnderColors is doing something revolutionary in terms of what we expect a product to do —particularly with something like nail polish, which is generally not thought to have any practical use beyond being aesthetically cool. If it helps to out even one potential rapist, then that would be fantastic.

What would be even more revolutionary, though, is if we thought less about products that add to the list of precautions women are already “supposed” to take or have on them (even in the case of DrinkSavvy— what bar or house party is going to stock onlytheir glassware?), and more about how to dismantle the aspects of culture which encourages rapists in the first place.

For more consideration.

-Spider-